Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize