I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she peed on how many people?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
