The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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