R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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