Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
