I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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