worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
