1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
