Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
