lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize