what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
