I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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