All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
