We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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