I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
