This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
