Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
