Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
