Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
