She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
