You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
