Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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