i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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