I think I am morally bankrupt
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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