So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
