My hand turned me down
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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