i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
