Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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