Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
