Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
