so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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