HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
