Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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