I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
