I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
