I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
