would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
