i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
