Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
