5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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