smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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