mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
