You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
