can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
