yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
