my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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