He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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