Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
