Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
