god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
