Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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