C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize