I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
