Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
