New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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