Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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