Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
