I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
