You're my little dorito
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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