Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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