your room smells of hookers.
And success
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
