3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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