Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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